Imperfect

[Delete]

Angry rant deleted. Now you'll never know what I might have said about you. :)

Depressed? Don't be silly; I'd need a reason for that. And human stupidity is hardly a reason.

Fractal Onions

Layer 01
[English] Name: Joseph Tam
Birthday: April 3
Birthplace: Toronto
Current Location: University of Waterloo
Eye Colour: Dark Brown
Hair Colour: Darker Brown
Height: 5'8~5'11. I forget.
R/L Dexterity: Left-handed
Zodiac Sign: Greek Aries; Chinese Boar

Layer 02
Heritage: Chinese
Shoes: White
Weaknesses: beauty
Fears: time
Perfect Pizza: non-existent
Goal: Master 12 languages to the extent of my English, if not more.

Layer 03
Overused phrase on AIM: I'm sure I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.
First thoughts waking up: Curséd sun's up...
Best physical feature: used to be my hair... ...
Bedtime: variable
Most missed memory: n/a

Layer 04
smoke: no
cuss: usually not
sing: not often enough
daily shower: sure
have a crush: no
post-2ndary ed: @ UW
highschool: liked it more than UW
marriage: maybe sometime in the future
self-belief: rather God than me
motion sickness: depends on how sick I'm feeling
attractive: I'd like to, but...
health-freak: not really
parents: alive and well
thunderstorms: God's sky show
musical instrument: piano; forgot the violin

Layer 05
In the past month...
drank alcohol: No
smoked: No
drugs: No
sex: No
made out: No
dated: No
mall: No
whole box of oreos: No
sushi: No
on stage: No
dumped: No
skated: No

(where's Layer 06?)

Layer 07
ever...
played a game that required removal of clothing: No
if so, was it mixed company : --
been caught "doing something" : father caught me on the playstation at 3:00am one time on a schoolnight...
been called a tease: not really
gotten beaten up: long, long ago
shoplifted: candy when I was 8
changed who you were to fit in: is that the same thing as "became easier to get along with"?

Layer 08
age you hope to be married: 24-30
numbers and names of children: 1-3; naming should be a joint process between the parentS.
how do you want to die: quick and painless, of old age, or young and tragically. ...though I think I'd prefer the first two.
where do you want to go to college: not UW anymore.
what do you want to be when you grow up: linguist, author, professor, something.

Layer 09
in a guy/girl, best...
eye colour: anything lighter than dark brown. (green, blue, red, hazel, etc)
hair colour: sun-bleached white! Urrmm... anything, really
short or long hair: long
height: 3-6 inches shorter than me
weight: lighter than me
clothing: tasteful and with some reservation
1st date location: somewhere well-lit and public that can still afford privacy
1st kiss location: doorstep of girl's home? in a clean alley? in a park at night?

Layer 10
Number of...
drugs taken: 0
ppl I'd trust my life to: 0
CD's owned: 8-15
DVD's owned: 3-8
piercings: 0
tattoos: 0
scars: 2-5

Extras
favourite colour: mint green
favourite animal: kirin/qi-ling of East Asian mythology
favourite bf/gf: n/A
favourite subject: linguistics
favourite food: n/A
what're you doing now: procrastinating. Soon to start editing translations
listening to: various BGM's
single/couple life: single life made bearable by certain dear friends. =)

Translation Lost

. . .Translation deadline in less than 3 weeks! Mailtime to Japan about a week. Must finish, polish and perfect my translation of the short story and literary criticism in less than two weeks!
Preliminary cruddy translation of short story: done.
Preliminary curddy translation of lit. crit.: 1/5 done.
Probability of winning translation competition: 0%
Motivation: 100%
Morale: 0%

Intrusion

. . .Almost as bad as having somebody read one's diary. Roommate forgot to turn off his radio alarm thingy (complete with subwoofer). To be fair, I was supposed to be home this weekend anyways, but I swear, 15 minutes of exposure to that -- I'm not sure how many years of hearing I just lost.
. . .Not even going to comment on the genre. Anyways... I remember dreaming it; hearing the singing and noticing that the actual music (I was seeing the sheet music at the same time) was repeated chords while the vocal was going up and down (in actual melody). And you know how sound carries through walls... ...especially walls of horribly built apartments like these...
. . .And I went to bed late too! Dammit... grouchily up at 7:15am on a saturday... ...and I'm SURE I've already lost some hearing... ...definitely some ringing in my ears. I don't even know why it's legal to sell subwoofers to the general public (who incidentally seem unaware that too much exposure to bass is actually damaging to one's hearing). Though I guess it's almost like selling knives; the user isn't *expected* to kill oneself. Though I don't think many people have any idea what an acceptable level of bass is... Oh well. At least we won't need to be able to hear when we die, right?

Deliver

. . .I think my wish came true; I really have become physically weak. I don't think I honestly *did* OD on the painkillers that the walk-in doctor prescribed for me, but they might have reacted with the sauce that I consumed at a friend's house (the kind that goes with those mexican-themed cracker type things..tortilla's or sth.) Either that or I was in front of the TV for too long; being in university, I haven't really watched TV, and since my computer moniter is an LCD, I think my eyes have now a reduced tolerance for the gamma radiation from those electron guns that power the TV. Or it could be some other sort of divine punishment for not being my most cordial and polite self that I could have been with the friend (who incidentally was kind enough to walk me to my room to make sure I didn't bowl over and die or sth).
. . .In any case, I became deathly pale (according to my friend), and I was immediately sent home, where I vomited just outside the front entrance, to go to bed for 13 hours. It would appear I have no stomach for food, and I can't stare at the computer screen for very long. I can't sit up, stand up or walk without getting dizzy, and the only solace that I could possibly find is sleeping, which is also marred because of the sunlight which streams through my window.
. . .I honestly thought I would have died last night, as I slipped away from conciousness. Thankfully, that hasn't happened yet, but today I was also supposed to have an appointment with councilling services to discuss some other crappery that's totally not getting resolved right now. Meanwhile, this makes alost 2 full weeks of school that I've missed.
. . .Oop. I've reached my limit. Time to lie down...

Adrift

. . .Originally (a few days ago) I was gonna blog about all the things that bugged me about certain people... ...until I realized that hate is an ugly thing. My very disapproval of certain aspects of people make me detestable. Once having realized that, I sat down and really thought about lots of stuff. If I don't get along with somebody, should I just ignore them, or treat them as I would a friend even though I know they'll be rude and offensive?
. . .So tired... ...so tired in general... I just want to get away from it all. I long to ride the tides of fate and find a safe-haven from the chaos that is this world. Too bad the world is so small... can't really get secluded enough.
. . .Why aren't we given the choice to disappear if we so choose? Why does there have to be governments controlling the masses? Isn't God enough? But of course, there are people who don't approve. But what of the olden days when one had the option of forging a home in the middle of the woods? Can't really disappear from civilization nowaways as one once could 300 years ago.
. . .Some say that the world is improving, but I think they're just blind. Or stupid. Or just refusing to see the more important issues at hand. Starving oneself for a month just to buy a pretty piece of cloth is just lunacy. Life should be about living, not material possessions. Why is it so easy for humans to just believe what they can only see?
. . .Blah.... I'm gonna go get some more rest... my leg isn't healing fast enough... (nothing broken, but I can't bend my right-leg anymore... ...and it was bleeding beautifully last night.) If only I could have captured the essence of the shock and turmoil that I felt at the time on paper... Oh well... time for me to lose myself in a ficticious world... Books have always been my friends. =)