Broken Bienséance

Sensitivity is a curse. Insensitivity is a curse.
. . .I've discovered that I find it difficult to get along with people who have little to no concept of manners or decorum. Nothing so rigid as formulaic conversations, but even just the basic greeting upon meeting face-to-face is something which I think is rather basic. People that I conveniently write off as being crude, obtuse, coarse, unrefined, brutish, etc. It's too easy for me to get offended by them, whether it's their barbaric gall to access my items without my permission, or the gaucherie required of them to physically touch me when it's clearly inappropriate and undesired.
. . .Hypocrites are also a sort of people I have difficulty with. Like a certain someone on a certain forum who's always ranting about the insolent and rebellious youth of today's society, tacitly implying that because of her(or his) antiquated sentiment for archaic diction that s/he is somehow more polite or proper, when her/his actual actions in verbally attacking others for their academic ignorance or youth are equally offensive. I don't get how people come off thinking they're better than someone else just because they've deluded themselves into thinking that posessing a certain form of etiquette.
. . .I mean, what's the entire purpose behind etiquette, decorum, tact? I've mentioned it before but I'll mention it again: too many people nowadays blindly follow archaic rules of conduct just because there were rules of conduct and they're archaic. But none of them actually actually pause to ponder the reasoning or rationale behind those rules. Frenzied fanatics who misguidedly attempt to live an ancient life in modern times.
. . .What was the purpose of it all, anyways? The real motivation should be to help make people feel welcome, not set up a social trap to accuse them of being uncivilized. Calling someone uncultured just because he doesn't dance to your music is hardly civil. False notions of superiority are clear signs that the person suffers from idiocy and tries to compensate by pushing others down.
. . .Having said that, I know that in the past I used to hold etiquette pretty highly. But I think I was mistaken. In fact, what I really wanted to say all this time is what I'm trying to say here. A good person isn't one who lives all those silly rules made up by drunk kings centuries ago. It's the person who has the care and sensitivity to accomodate others and try to make the other person feel as welcome as possible. Stiffly holding on to unnatural laws that hardly apply to the modern world will rarely make a person of a different culture feel welcome, especially when that other culture has no clear understanding of this foreign culture's extinct ways of life.
. . .I'm not saying that etiquette is a bad thing. I think it's good to investigate on how people in society might have approached different situations, but the important thing to always ask and understand is, why and how did it work in that society and era, and how would that translate in today's world with today's youth?
. . .I think that the truely uncultured people are not those who are unaware of older customs or of "higher-class" ways of life, but those who lack the sensitivity or observation to be able to see when someone is uncomfortable with an action, a touch or a word. After all, we are of the civilized world, no? Fine, then we shall live a civilized life. Barbarous oppositions, arguements, offences and insults have proven time and time again to be ineffective in winning someone over. You may prove your point, but you may be sure that they won't be eager to befriend you afterwards. A beautiful mind isn't just one that has a high intellectual capacity, but rather one that is able to get along with others without being condescending.
. . .So in short, I've said that it's wrong to insult people, and in doing so I've insulted people. Brilliant, I know. I wonder how many of you actually follow what I'm trying to say here; I've been feeling woozy for the past few hours. @_@ Are my words still coherent and cohesive?

Insane Insomniac

. . .So at 3:30am, when I "normally" sleep, I decide to fix myself a small snack. No biggie. But then I decide that I need some reading material to accompany this light snack. As in the second of three novels I purchased almost a year ago but never got around to reading. Almost 4 hours later, here I am, eating breakfast. I'm so smart. S-M-R-T. Definitely.
. . .As was sliiiiiightly hinted in my previous post (and in any case what might be noticible given the dates of my dA submissions), I've pretty much been doing art for the past week. Which oddly has me happy. Emotionally. Unfortunately, it's not really aiding me in the academic front. And I'm so tired right now I can see me ruing myself for writing this at all. It all seems so non-linear. But anyways. Lotsa art. yey. And in typical Joseph fashion, I end up hating almost everything about the work after I post it online. I guess that's a lesson to me to work harder.
. . .Meanwhile, for those interested (I certainly am) in the upcoming, year-late DVD movie FF7:AC (Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children), check out the new third trailer they posted on their site: http://www.square-enix.co.jp/dvd/ff7ac For those of you who don't understand Japanese, just look at the pretty pictures. And for those of you who're students of Japanese, let's see how much you've really learned from the classroom. ;)
. . .Alrighties then. Time for me to go beddie-bye. (Did I just make that up, or am I misusing/misspelling another phrase?) Anywhoo... I need to sleep to keep my immune system up.

Art

New pics posted on my dA site. Go check 'em out. http://shadow-paladin.deviantart.com
The styles are vaguely different though. :P
Meanwhile... As for my personal life... ... ... ... no comment. The sooner I'm finished, the sooner I'm out of here. And then boldly shall I brave into the faceless, heartless world of men. Lots to look forward to, huh...

Ecclesiastes

Meaningless! Meaningless!
Utterly meaningless!
Everything is meaningless.

What is twisted cannot be straightened;
what is lacking cannot be counted.

For with much wisdom comes much sorrow;
the more knowledge, the more grief.

The wise man has eyes in his head, while the fool walks in the darkness;
but ... realize that the same fate overtakes them both.

"The fate of the fool will overtake me also. What then do I gain by being wise?"
"Like the fool, the wise man too must die!"

Imperfect

[Delete]

Angry rant deleted. Now you'll never know what I might have said about you. :)

Depressed? Don't be silly; I'd need a reason for that. And human stupidity is hardly a reason.

Fractal Onions

Layer 01
[English] Name: Joseph Tam
Birthday: April 3
Birthplace: Toronto
Current Location: University of Waterloo
Eye Colour: Dark Brown
Hair Colour: Darker Brown
Height: 5'8~5'11. I forget.
R/L Dexterity: Left-handed
Zodiac Sign: Greek Aries; Chinese Boar

Layer 02
Heritage: Chinese
Shoes: White
Weaknesses: beauty
Fears: time
Perfect Pizza: non-existent
Goal: Master 12 languages to the extent of my English, if not more.

Layer 03
Overused phrase on AIM: I'm sure I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.
First thoughts waking up: Curséd sun's up...
Best physical feature: used to be my hair... ...
Bedtime: variable
Most missed memory: n/a

Layer 04
smoke: no
cuss: usually not
sing: not often enough
daily shower: sure
have a crush: no
post-2ndary ed: @ UW
highschool: liked it more than UW
marriage: maybe sometime in the future
self-belief: rather God than me
motion sickness: depends on how sick I'm feeling
attractive: I'd like to, but...
health-freak: not really
parents: alive and well
thunderstorms: God's sky show
musical instrument: piano; forgot the violin

Layer 05
In the past month...
drank alcohol: No
smoked: No
drugs: No
sex: No
made out: No
dated: No
mall: No
whole box of oreos: No
sushi: No
on stage: No
dumped: No
skated: No

(where's Layer 06?)

Layer 07
ever...
played a game that required removal of clothing: No
if so, was it mixed company : --
been caught "doing something" : father caught me on the playstation at 3:00am one time on a schoolnight...
been called a tease: not really
gotten beaten up: long, long ago
shoplifted: candy when I was 8
changed who you were to fit in: is that the same thing as "became easier to get along with"?

Layer 08
age you hope to be married: 24-30
numbers and names of children: 1-3; naming should be a joint process between the parentS.
how do you want to die: quick and painless, of old age, or young and tragically. ...though I think I'd prefer the first two.
where do you want to go to college: not UW anymore.
what do you want to be when you grow up: linguist, author, professor, something.

Layer 09
in a guy/girl, best...
eye colour: anything lighter than dark brown. (green, blue, red, hazel, etc)
hair colour: sun-bleached white! Urrmm... anything, really
short or long hair: long
height: 3-6 inches shorter than me
weight: lighter than me
clothing: tasteful and with some reservation
1st date location: somewhere well-lit and public that can still afford privacy
1st kiss location: doorstep of girl's home? in a clean alley? in a park at night?

Layer 10
Number of...
drugs taken: 0
ppl I'd trust my life to: 0
CD's owned: 8-15
DVD's owned: 3-8
piercings: 0
tattoos: 0
scars: 2-5

Extras
favourite colour: mint green
favourite animal: kirin/qi-ling of East Asian mythology
favourite bf/gf: n/A
favourite subject: linguistics
favourite food: n/A
what're you doing now: procrastinating. Soon to start editing translations
listening to: various BGM's
single/couple life: single life made bearable by certain dear friends. =)

Translation Lost

. . .Translation deadline in less than 3 weeks! Mailtime to Japan about a week. Must finish, polish and perfect my translation of the short story and literary criticism in less than two weeks!
Preliminary cruddy translation of short story: done.
Preliminary curddy translation of lit. crit.: 1/5 done.
Probability of winning translation competition: 0%
Motivation: 100%
Morale: 0%

Intrusion

. . .Almost as bad as having somebody read one's diary. Roommate forgot to turn off his radio alarm thingy (complete with subwoofer). To be fair, I was supposed to be home this weekend anyways, but I swear, 15 minutes of exposure to that -- I'm not sure how many years of hearing I just lost.
. . .Not even going to comment on the genre. Anyways... I remember dreaming it; hearing the singing and noticing that the actual music (I was seeing the sheet music at the same time) was repeated chords while the vocal was going up and down (in actual melody). And you know how sound carries through walls... ...especially walls of horribly built apartments like these...
. . .And I went to bed late too! Dammit... grouchily up at 7:15am on a saturday... ...and I'm SURE I've already lost some hearing... ...definitely some ringing in my ears. I don't even know why it's legal to sell subwoofers to the general public (who incidentally seem unaware that too much exposure to bass is actually damaging to one's hearing). Though I guess it's almost like selling knives; the user isn't *expected* to kill oneself. Though I don't think many people have any idea what an acceptable level of bass is... Oh well. At least we won't need to be able to hear when we die, right?

Deliver

. . .I think my wish came true; I really have become physically weak. I don't think I honestly *did* OD on the painkillers that the walk-in doctor prescribed for me, but they might have reacted with the sauce that I consumed at a friend's house (the kind that goes with those mexican-themed cracker type things..tortilla's or sth.) Either that or I was in front of the TV for too long; being in university, I haven't really watched TV, and since my computer moniter is an LCD, I think my eyes have now a reduced tolerance for the gamma radiation from those electron guns that power the TV. Or it could be some other sort of divine punishment for not being my most cordial and polite self that I could have been with the friend (who incidentally was kind enough to walk me to my room to make sure I didn't bowl over and die or sth).
. . .In any case, I became deathly pale (according to my friend), and I was immediately sent home, where I vomited just outside the front entrance, to go to bed for 13 hours. It would appear I have no stomach for food, and I can't stare at the computer screen for very long. I can't sit up, stand up or walk without getting dizzy, and the only solace that I could possibly find is sleeping, which is also marred because of the sunlight which streams through my window.
. . .I honestly thought I would have died last night, as I slipped away from conciousness. Thankfully, that hasn't happened yet, but today I was also supposed to have an appointment with councilling services to discuss some other crappery that's totally not getting resolved right now. Meanwhile, this makes alost 2 full weeks of school that I've missed.
. . .Oop. I've reached my limit. Time to lie down...

Adrift

. . .Originally (a few days ago) I was gonna blog about all the things that bugged me about certain people... ...until I realized that hate is an ugly thing. My very disapproval of certain aspects of people make me detestable. Once having realized that, I sat down and really thought about lots of stuff. If I don't get along with somebody, should I just ignore them, or treat them as I would a friend even though I know they'll be rude and offensive?
. . .So tired... ...so tired in general... I just want to get away from it all. I long to ride the tides of fate and find a safe-haven from the chaos that is this world. Too bad the world is so small... can't really get secluded enough.
. . .Why aren't we given the choice to disappear if we so choose? Why does there have to be governments controlling the masses? Isn't God enough? But of course, there are people who don't approve. But what of the olden days when one had the option of forging a home in the middle of the woods? Can't really disappear from civilization nowaways as one once could 300 years ago.
. . .Some say that the world is improving, but I think they're just blind. Or stupid. Or just refusing to see the more important issues at hand. Starving oneself for a month just to buy a pretty piece of cloth is just lunacy. Life should be about living, not material possessions. Why is it so easy for humans to just believe what they can only see?
. . .Blah.... I'm gonna go get some more rest... my leg isn't healing fast enough... (nothing broken, but I can't bend my right-leg anymore... ...and it was bleeding beautifully last night.) If only I could have captured the essence of the shock and turmoil that I felt at the time on paper... Oh well... time for me to lose myself in a ficticious world... Books have always been my friends. =)