2003/10/13

孤獨世界

. . .Booh... had school again today... After a three-day weekend. Which is so rare in Asia that it's not even funny. But yah. Ended up sleeping far later than I should have... (which is to say, at around 1:30am or even 2:00am) when I should have slept at 11:30pm.
. . .I don't know if I've already said it, though I probably have, but I'll say it again! Ahhahaha... Anyways, yah. My self-study thingy is really paying off! who'd have thought. But yah... still way behind my own personal goal. Gotta start working on trudging through that Tang-dynasty poem essay thing to write my review... Fun...
. . .I got 10/13 for my first homework in my chin. lit. course.. Booh!!! She didn't really go by a rubric either, so it' impossible for me to know where exactly I lost my marks... Booh... gotta work harder then... ... must... become... fluent... in ... [written] Chinese... Arg. To be as fluent in Mandarin as I am in English... now that's a challenge. Especially since I fear that the acquisition of a second language is really only that -- kinda like a master-slave HD configuration... But to have two 'primary' languages? I guess I might have a shard of hope, since I was raised in Mandarin before being shoved into daycare, where everybody spoke English. Let's hope enough of my linguistic wiring before age 5 is still there for me to work with... :P
. . .Aside from that, not too too much is happening... ...it's kinda lonely here in Taiwan; most of the people I know talk to me either for superficial reasons, or only out of respect of my mother... (which is to say, they wouldn't bother with me if I weren't my mother's son.)
. . *sighs*....

2003/10/12

心靜自然涼

. . .Let's see... Took the train/bus to church today... That cost me about a Canadian dollar. Then I went to the library with 世偉, in the hopes of doing lots of work. But ehh... towards the latter 2 hours, we ended up chatting... ... and not doing any productive stuff...
. . .After the library (around 5:00pm), I went to Tao Bai Ren's house, where I had dinner... ... but ehh.. her son kinda didn't shower after his basketball game from this morning, so he reaks like there's no tomorrow... ...and it's such a nasty, typical male odor... *shudders*
. . .So I didn't end up getting a lot of studying done... ... I got maybe 30 words memorized... ...Waaay behind in my research papers. :(
. . .Aside from that, not too much happening...

2003/10/11

Idiom... Idiot... Hmm...

. . .K, so apparently, the new thing I was testing out with my hair wasn't such a great idea... Er Yi Ma said that it looked 奇奇怪怪 (Qi-qi-guai-guai). Ah well. Back to my boring bangs. ^^;
. . .Let's see... Friday, Octobre 10th was "Taiwan Day", when they celebrate the birth of the Republic of China (or the birth of the Guo Min Dang... either or ...)
. . .Learned more about my family history; apparently, my Grandmother personally knew Chiang Kai Shek, and was a personal secretary (of sorts) to him for over 20 years. I say 'of sorts' cuz she only handed letters and notes... or something like that.
. . .In the evening, after staying at home the entire day and cramming as many Chinese words as possible into my tired little mind, the benevolent 世偉 rescued me from sure death and brought me out to some downtown-ish area. This was about from 6:15pm 'til around 10:15pm. It was a good evening; got to chat lots, did a little window shopping, saw some clothes I might want to buy later. Through this shopping, I also discovered that it's really hard for me to imagine what looks good on other people cuz I seem to only know what would suit me... =/
. . .I love how people here don't know how to read me cuz they don't really know if I am Chinese or just CBC. Which is to say, they take me for a foreigner and therefore refuse to think of me as Chinese. Or Asian. At all.
. . .lalala... Well, whether or not I'm honestly learning 50-100 words a day, I'm definately learning something, since I'm gradually picking up more and more of what people say. (yay!) Who knew that something picked out of a textbook would actually be applicable in real life?
. . .Another thing is that apparently, I'm borrowing a bit too many Cantonese phrases into my Mandarin... ... so for things like "how much", "how many", "how long" all sound 'awkward' in Mandarin. ... though they understand what I mean to say, they find it unnatural and foreign. (as in, they instantly know I'm not local.)
. . .Also, they can't seem to stand me trying to use higher/harder phrases. Though it'd be a waste of time for me to explain to them my own personal theories regarding language acquisition. The real trick is to discover what I understand of the English language to be 'universal linguistic truth'.
. . .So yah. Yesterday was good. This morning... ... had some more food at home, and crammed a few more words into that tiny little brain of mine. Never know when the term 'teammate' will come in handy... ... though I've learned long ago (in Japanese) that it only beneficial to learn as many words as possible, regardless of it's seeming face-value or attraction.
. . .e.g. two hours after learning all these political terms and stuff (like 'politics', 'election', 'prime minister', etc.) my uncle-in-law starts talking to me about the mess of Taiwanese politics. I'm inwardly thinking, "whoa... ... it's actually useful."
. . .Now I'm counting the minutes before I have to run for my language exchange at 2:00. Better cram in a few more words... (whee... go vocab! I wonder how to say "and even then, ~~" in Mandarin.

2003/10/09

方纔歸來

. . .Whee. Just got back from lunch. And from a very filling lunch. I swear, I ate enough to last me 'til tomorrow evening. Booh... and I'm not exercising enough to make up for it either.. I'm just swelling up like a little balloon... for about $10 American, I had a small fruit salad, Bacon clam chowder, bread-with-some-cream-thing, some sort of ice fish, American pineapple pie (with icecream), and Ceylon tea with fruit tossed in.
. . .Class today... ... was... ... ... well, we watched this VCD that was talking a bit about some Chinese philosophy thingy... ... Mencius and the other guy... something-zhe. One felt that humans were inherintly evil and therefore needed education to become good. The other guy felt that humans were inherently good and were corrupted by the world, and that's why education is needed in order to remain pure. So in either case, education was placed at the highest importance. (this is during or after the 'first emperor of China' of the Chin dynasty -- 秦始皇.)
. . .Yah... gotta get around to finishing those essay questions in Chinese.. it's sooo evil... ...and uhh.. evil. Well, no, that's not entirely true. It's actually quite interesting, and EXACTLY the sort of thing I came to Taiwan to learn. Yes. The literary mathie. *sighs*. I still can't forgive my calc. prof. for not knowing the difference between an adjective and an adverb. (This happened when the prof. was explaining why the term 'uniformly' in the term "uniformly continuous" was an appropriate "adjective".) Yarg. And it's not like the other mathies noticed either. Thank God I was taking two language courses that term or I would have seriously gone insane.
. . .So yah... Train ride to uncle-in-law's workplace was uneventful. I think I've finally figured out the most effecient means of getting here from class. If I didn't have to transfer all the time, I so could do some studying on the way -- cram in an extra hour or two of studying. Speaking of which...
. . .According to www.clavisinica.com, I know about 1000~2000 Chinese characters. However, to be considered functionally literate, one is estimated to know between 3000 and 4000 characters. So I have 1000-3000 characters to go. So, in an insane attempt to kick my memory into high-gear, I've proposed a goal for myself of learning 50-100 words a day. How much I actually remember is another thing... but the idea is that by the mere exposure to all these other words, I'll have an easier time getting the gist of any given sentence.
. . .Oh yah. And the other screwy part of the Chinese that I do already know is that while half of it is modern conversational Mandarin, the other half is derived from a 400-year old novel which I'm working through right now. which is to say, it'd come across as something like this in English: "Whither are ya at, yo?" Ahaha. People here are getting a kick out of my writing style since they find my strange hybrid style both foreign and entertaining. (Not like I intended it to be funny, but... meh.)
. . .What else? To the observant reader, one may have noticed that there's a new name under the blogs I read section. Thanks to the new alliance between ICQ and AIM, I'm able to contact people in the states! (yay. That makes.... three people.)
. . .Trying out something different with my hair; gonna see how it is at the end of the day. Basically, tossed the upper part of my bangs all off to one side, tucked it behind my ear, and had the rest of my hair tied up in a loose bun. Nothing too fancy, but a severe deviant from the routine bangs that I usually sport and by which I'm most often recognised.
. . .Apparently, I have this weird ability to learn the meaning of Chinese characters without necessarily having the pronunciation down pat. ... or it's overriden with the Japanese way of pronouncing it. And it's SOO not my fault; some vocab I learned in Japanese first before learning it in Chinese. Ahaha... so yah. I'll be able to read Chinese, but I won't necessarily be able to read it outloud.
. . .Well, nobody's online (or they're too busy/tired to talk to me), so I'd best take the advantage of this time and start studying my new batch of chinese words/phrases. Whee...

2003/10/08

. . .*sniff sniff* Not many people online today...
. . .Argh... Need a life... ... what I really need is a Mandarin-native speaker with near-scholarly understanding of the Chinese written language with enough free time to be assaulted with my multitudes of questions (and conversation practices) While I'm not in class. Which is a large majority of the day.
. . .Apparently, I've developed this alarming ability to learn how to read and write a Chinese character, and know exactly what it means in whichever various circumstances, but have no idea how to pronounce it. I blame this ability on my years of studying Japanese.
. . .Speaking of which, I ought to e-mail that prof. regarding her research, which is apparently right up my alley! (I'm supposed to write an essay-type thing in which I compare the difference in writing systems between the Chinese and Japanese, the history/development of each system, how using each system is psychologically manifest, the advantages and disadvantages of using either system, etc. It ought to be worth the 150 hours of research I'm devoting to it.
. . .My Mandarin-language acquisition is an on-going process. If I only learned 20 words/phrases a day... ... better make that a hundred. Haha... In theory, I have at least another 2000-3000 words to learn before being able to claim to be literate in Chinese. If only I had a list of words/phrases from which to go on... ... sifting through a textbook is boring and tedius. (Learning may be natural, but my learning/studying habits aren't. :P)
. . .Boooh... drizzling outside. it's like walking through mist. Only instead of that dreamy, ethereal feeling of cleansiness, it's more like walking through layers of wet lint/dust/dirt, coupled with the aromatic odour of a bazillion cars' exhaust fumes.
. . .Funny... ... Suddenly reminded of a dear friend of mine, and I'm really worried about her, all of a sudden. I'm not sure why, entirely. Guess I'll write an e-mail and see how she's doing.

2003/10/07

手機簡訊

. . .Ahaha... on the way to my uncle-in-law's office after class, I
1. forgot to get a transfer
2. got on the wrong bus.
. . .So yah... I still saved *some* time getting here, but yah... I hate walking outside... it's still perversely warm outside. I'll get you sun!! I'll get you good!!!!!
. . .*ehem* Yah... I hate sweating. Grr. stupid human body system. If only I could re-engineer my body... Ah, the colours my hair would be... :P
. . .Meanwhile, I'm becoming modernized. Nooo~~~~!!! I'm text-messaging a friend via cellphone... (in Chinese.. whee). He's in class and I'm bored out of my mind. He's kinda vulgar though, he's like "I've been sitting so long that my ass is sore". *sighs* youth these days.

死網

. . .Booh. Cursed internet. Kept logging me off MSN Messenger. Must be because of either my computer back in Toronto, or because of the computer in Tao Bai-Ren's house. In either case... Grr! Mid-conversation with people and *poof* I'm offline. Moreover, although I repeditively tell it that I'm not interested in any new Messenger upgrades, it KEEPS ON ASKING ME if I want to upgrade. Damn computer. Stupid internet. A pox on Microsoft!
. . .Meanwhile... Can't afford to sleep right now... cuz then I won't be able to sleep in the evening, which'll only translate to more fatigue problems for the following day. I had dumplings for lunch, accompanied by this funky-tasting thick soup-like thing, filled with I-don't-want-to-know-what stuff. It was described to me as 'sour and spicy', though it was just 'funky' for me. And I don't me 'cool'. Just... ... ... funky.
. . .Really should be studying today... Teacher made me read the [Chinese] paragraph on the board, and I couldn't... She's first like, "Hmm... Joseph! Why don't you read what I've written on the board. Reading is good for your word-recognition."
. . .I'm like, "eerrr...."
. . ."c'mon"
. . ."but ... ... I don't know how to read..."
. . ."Aiya... we're all here to learn. c'mon, nobody's gonna hit you."
. . ."It's shameful of me [to not be able to read]..."
. . ."Aiya... no need to be so melodramatic..."
. . .So, of course I read it... ... barely. Sighs. I'm back at the bottom of the class. whee... haven't been in that position since I was five-years old. Meanwhile, my classmates are probably looking down at me for not being able to read the more simple characters... it was so sad... when I came across a character that I couldn't read in Chinese, I read it the Japanese way and my teacher was like, "erm! Reading Japanese??"
. . .^^;;;
. . .Meanwhile... aside from that, not much happened... though apparently more people read my blog than leave messages... ... since I'm now talking to people online when I get online. ^_^ *sniffs* I feel so special. It's good to know that some people actually care enough to bother going online during those slim few minutes to be able to chat with me, see how I'm doing, keeping me posted on what's going on in Toronto, UW, Guelph, Ottawa, Vancouver, etc. So a big thank you to my friends who care. ^___^
. . .Heh.. and the title is so negative... How'd I end up with such a positive note? Kinda like my Chinese lit. teacher.. She starts off with rambling about the political situation during which some of the stuff we're looking at came out of, and then she some how ends up teaching us how to say 'pole-dancer' in Chinese... ...At first I totally didn't understand her... she was like, "you know... they're very popular in the west. There's this pole, and these pretty... well no, not pretty... but good-bodied females writhe and wiggle all around the pole."
. . ."Oh," says I. Kinda funny, my teacher. Don't really get her... ... (probably unmarried...) but her sense of humour is definately better than Kallen's... *shudder* Now THERE's a woman you'd never want to meet... ...and someone that nobody would want to marry. And she says that she doesn't want to get married anyways.. which is just as well... the bitter old bitch shouldn't have the honour of being married. I'd feel soooo sorry for her husband.
. . .Then again, I shouldn't really say that. I mean, just the thought of a certain other female equally repulses me, and yet there are more than a couple of guys who apparently find her attractive. I sooooo don't get that. I mean, EWW!!! Then again, guys tend to be more dense with first impressions. Ah, the curse of taking after one's mother.
. . .Aaaaaanyways.
. . .Oh yah... Today I start my language exchange with Ryuuichi. Haha. Guess which language(s). Though I think that after today, the weekend might be better. We'll see. ^^;

2003/10/06

2003/10/05

上升下落

. . .Yay. Got off class today; gotta find a coffee/tea-house for my language exchange tomorrow. It's scary... the longer I live here, the more I realize just how CHINESE my family is. And I mean REALLY chinese. Just the other day, I was observing how people didn't do a certain thing that my family always does. When I mentioned this to my friends, they were like, "WHAT??!?! But that's sooo archaic!!"
. . .me: "eeehh....... ..... My family still does it..."
. . .Ahaha... so booyaka to my conservativism.
. . .Meanwhile, my thoughts sometimes wander back to Canada... How is everybody? From what I can tell, some people are doing ok, while others are doing a little less-than-ok. Some are in a paradoxial state; they feel lonely, but won't let anybody into their lives. But I'm not one to force myself into others' lives. Meh. I rarely see anybody online anymore... ...and only SOME of you would care enough to write to me... :'(
. . .Learned some nasty details about the cost at which the Tang dynasty earned its place in History. And we finally finished Confucius (孔子) today in class. Yay! But ehh.... now teacher wants me us to write a review and stuff on some other people's essays... and mine is about some line from a Tang-dynasty poem... Tang being somewhere in the B.C. ... like 300BC or something like that. Probably earlier...
. . .Meanwhile, I haven't been working nearly hard enough, so starting from now on, if anybody wants to catch me online, the best time is 11:30am~1:30pm Taiwan time... ... which would be 11:30pm~1:30am Toronto time. Dear readers can calculate for their timezones accordingly. ^_^
. . .I've recently also discovered that being hard-core traditional Chinese isn't any fun either... ...after looking at my cousin, who's turned out to be a bit of a loser... ...and my aunt keeps comparing me to both her kids... grr... Anyways, as it turns out, I prefer to combine the etiquette of both western and eastern cultures -- doing things implicitly, AND saying things implicitly. Ah, the joy it'd be to speak to me 4 years from now. Lalala... Nobody online, so I'm gonna go away and do something productive. ^_^;

2003/10/03

文學得到

. . .Q&%)#&$@ internet... making me retype this entry... Stupid uni. administration... but i sure showed you!! I jumped like, at least 2 levels above my original 'assessment' for my Mandarin proficiency, but there was such a lack of professionalism that I question whether it's really a university.
. . .Meanwhile... People still think I'm either Korean or Japanese. Though I guess it'd be near-impossible to guess asian blends, eh? Class is pretty fun; teacher is pretty funny and learning lots. Unlike my other class, where we're only taking baby steps... I'd write more, but I've barely any energy...