神聖怒恨

. . .Well, I've calmed down a significant amount from last night; had this been written yesterday, my 殺氣 would be burning through the page. But it certainly was an eye-opener.
. . .I always thought that by emphatically carrying myself in a conservative and traditional fashion, people would be able to give at least a little respect. But this apparently hasn't abated the list of objects which have literally been thrown in my direction which, in my perspective, is both figuratively and literally a slap in the face. I had always deluded myself into thinking that if by being cordial, decorous and tactful, I'd induce those same qualities in my relatively more tactless, gauche peers. But apparently, either I'm part of a dying breed that are socially aware, or I'm simply not as respectible as I'd like to think, causing such acts of insult and injury to be inflicted upon me.
. . .But despite all this, I shan't give up. I refuse to succumb to the culture and convention of this modern, decadent, degenerate world. I'm reminded of the phrase 好心做壞事, but it begs to question whether 'good intentions' are good enough all the time. "I meant to shoot the attacker; not you!" ←A bit too late there.
. . .People would often have me believe that having a good heart is all that matters. And while I don't deny that a good heart is a necessary core for a relatively immaterial shell, I've been fustigated just one too many times by the base bluntness of the 'good hearted'. Of course they mean while. But an ill-formed sentence still stings to the touch.
. . .A perfect example is with a certain female friend of mine (although 'certain' can apply to more than one friend in this case). Once upon a time, under what I've now convinced myself to be delusional and delerious conditions, I thought I liked that someone. Of course, flat-out rejections are the encouraged sort of polite declination; it builds character. Years later, sometimes in jest, she (they) like to bring it up again. Not to say that the memory was that painful, but I thought it'd already been put into the past; I'd simply rather not be reminded of the less-than-happy moments.
. . .Who am I to say 'this one's tactless, and this one has good taste'? Just because I've been offended (and as is very often the case, only *I* am), doesn't mean that whatever was said is necessarily offensive, right? Especially since my English is somewhat antiquated.
. . .Blah. Whatever. I'm suddenly feeling rather disinterested.