Divided

. . .What is a friend? Many things, but most importantly, a friend is human. And therefore, prone to error. Such a simple fact, but yet it doesn't make it easier for me to forgive people who've committed grave treason against me. I've been thinking a lot on the subject recently -- particularly over the weekend (while I was dead with the pain of having my wisdom teeth yoinked out). What is a real friend? Just because I wouldn't make the same sorts of errors that they would, are there things that I do that offend them? Surely I'm not perfect. True, I have high standards. But standards differ from person to person. Just because I find something to be asymptotic to perfection doesn't mean my "friend" would.
. . .And surely no two friends are the same. Therefore, one's feelings for two friends cannot ever be completely equal. Why is it then that I feel somewhat uncomfortable when my "friend" makes an obvious preference for someone else? Is that jealousy? Such an ugly emotion... Perhaps it was wrong of me to hold my "friend" in such high esteem in the first place.
. . .Indignation. Such a favourite word of mine, and quite appropriate too, I think, for one with such a character as I have. Prone to passion, I tend to leap from one violent emotion to the next (despite the alarming lack of physical manifestation of said tendancies). Therefore, perhaps who I once thought were friends truely aren't friends. Should I just cut off all ties then? After all, they are of no relation to me, and clearly I'm of negligible importance to them.
. . .Or do I simply just demote them in my mental cosmos of friends? Which do I prefer: love or respect? Why does one preclude the other? Is it sheer idiocy on my part to think both possible in a person, or simplicity on the other party for only choosing one over the other?
. . .Granted, right now is a stressful time, with finals just around the corner and assignments due even sooner. But somehow, the events which led me to contemplate these matters weren't remotely academically related. Am I paranoid, or blind? I should be better at taking hints... To which I say to the following (unnamed) people: "farewell. It is obvious that that which I once thought was friendship between us was merely a fabrication and fantasy of my mind. As your actions would hint, I would submit to your wishes and cease all pretense of amiability. I wish you well in your life, as I hope never to see you again."
. . .It'd appear that nearly nobody reads this blog anymore anyways, so I suppose it does me little good to speak anything thoughtful. In other words, to those whom the above is directed, it is a sad parting of ways, but since we weren't really friends to begin with, I think the agony weighs more heavily on my shoulders. To those whom the above was not directed, I have naught else to say. Try to get some rest, eat well, good luck with your exams and hope to see you in April!